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Category Archives: Define Me

Get Out

You must have thought I was going to forgive you? Not happening, not now not ever and I have told you to get the …… out of my life and I mean it. I could so easily blow your shit right out of the water and let the world know the truth.

You think you covered all your tracks, well you didn’t and I have you connected to all your dirty deeds and I am sure you are so proud of yourself. You can’t even stand to face me or even look at my face because you see the pain you have caused me.

I have replaced you, yes I know that astonishes your lovely but I replaced you and yes I have invited him to visit this weekend. He has the balls you couldn’t even buy and yes he has turned my head, you on the other hand make my head turn like Linda Blair’s in the “Exorcist”.

Don’t call me and get off my fb as well as reading my blog, the world doesn’t revolve around the butcher’s cleaver and you lost me, yes you lost me like you threw me away so I have done you the same. He is everything you would love to be but never will be.

I have no respect for you, you destroyed that and trust, lol as if you could ever get my trust. I will not wait for anyone and I just do not have the time for your silly antics and lies. You are such a little boy and when you were circumcised I think they went all the way to the head between your shoulders.

You think I can’t touch you? You think I couldn’t destroy your image? I still have that pic you sent so long ago, yes the one in the lounge by the pool. I have a long memory a very long memory and I can prove the pics I have are you without your face.

You are one dumbass but aren’t all liars and thieves? 

Consider yourself lucky because I won’t spill the news because I have no desire to hurt you and believe me I could hurt you more than you ever could hurt me.You stay away from my life hear me or things will start to pop up and you won’t like them I guarantee it.

You like the high life more than you could ever love me and you like the ritzy lifestyle, which is obvious by your choice of hoods for you and the little one. Yes, you have tried to protect him but you failed, yes I found him in no time so do something about it asshole.

I used to live in an apartment and my neighbor Salvador had similar problems. Hate me now? Good that is exactly what I want you to do, hate me. I don’t hurt others like you, especially children, animals and freaks like yourself.

What’s your next move? Crash my computers? Destroy all of my files? Steal my pics, o I forgot you already have done that now haven’t you?

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Define Me

 

Naked And Raw

You want to see me broken? You want to see me fail? You lead me deeper into the forest with no crumbs to follow my way home………………..

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Define Me, Music

 

Music Moves My Life

I did not think of you when I posted this, no I did not I like the artist, not you!

 

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Define Me, Music

 

A Stand

You have to take a stand in your own life and put a stop to those that want to use you, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you. I have chosen not to let anyone use me again or lie to me because lieing is so childish and undeserving.

I am so over him and his crap and controlling nature, he gets on my computers and deletes files like that is going to stop me from doing what I choose to. I cannot be controlled and not even you will ever own me or be in my life permanently.

You have always gotten what you wanted but I am not on the menu and as you fly from here to france, korea ect. why don’t you pick yourself up a girl and keep yourself occupied? You cannot have me, be with me or share my bed ever, got that?

I do not like you as a person and your lies I just laugh at because I already know you are a scammer as is Frankie and the rest of the team. You guys are to be ashamed of what you have done and how you wake up liking yourself everyday is astonishing.

The only reason you want me is because I no longer want you and that is a challenge to you, don’t waste your time because no amount of looks, money or prestige will ever get me in your bed, got it? I do not want to live with you, marry you or share any part of my life with you.

I do not want to be a possession like you have treated me for so long and I will not allow you to assume I will always be there for you, as I am not. I am sure you are aware of how many people would love to know who you are and what you have done but I will not give the rags anything to print.

You love the spotlight and having people fall all over you, well I am not falling in fact I am running the other way and will keep running. I want nothing to do with you ever so get out of my life and forget about me, totally as I am doing with you.

How could anyone possibly not like you? It’s easy, very easy because I see your darkside, I have heard your lies and I have no respect for you any longer, you killed that for me long ago. Don’t call me either because you just spew more lies.

Your calls are filled with you, you and your lies and I am not like you and never will be. I am not better than you but I have a purer heart and motives while you set out to scam and lie and it’s at your breakfast table every morning at 5 a.m.

You have no concept of what love and respect are and obviously never will and I do not have room for your behavior as my life is not big enough for the both of us, that means you have got to go-poof gone like the flush of a toilet.

You can never undo what you have done and you are not man enough to admit your faults because to do that would make you accept the fact that you pride yourself in scamming as if it a fine art unto you and only you and your cronies.

Tell me, does it suck real bad that you can’t buy everything your heart desires? We are nothing alike at all and our desires are very different in to many ways. Accept it, you are not handsome enough, rich enough, loving enough nor caring enough for me.

You are a narcissistic one and you need to learn humility and realize not every woman thinks you are all that and want to be with you. I for one do not want you in my world and I want you to leave my life and let me find some happiness.

You acted like you cared so much when Bob died, you didn’t care you didn’t even know him and you will never know how much my heart hurts every time I think of how he died. You have no compassion and your only interest is yourself.

I am not the type of woman for you, no you like the bright lights and all those that lie to you daily. You do not cherish friendship or honor it, no you prefer to scam and lie so you can live the high life impressing your international whores.

Your time is done and we shall never be one, I do not want to hear your lies any longer.

 

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Define Me

 

Put The Phone Back

I have finally reached the point that I am tired of the three hour phone calls, he calls and I now just basically listen and answer questions. I am finding him to be asking to many personal questions this early in the “relationship”.

He is wanting my income/ratio numbers and that is crossing the damn line, I don’t care if he could make me a millionaire, been there done that. He is getting to damn nosey and I have told him so but all he did was laugh because he thinks I am foolish in not asking him the same questions.

He has even brought up the subject of a prenup, in passing of course and that is exactly where it will stay as well. I have already told him I do not do marriage and I definitely do not play well with husbands but he is convinced he can change my mind, lol he obviously does not know me.

When someone starts talking marriage as if it is a random thought I’m putting on my army boots and heading for rice patties. I have told him slow down but of course the typical Aquarius he beats to his own drummer but I am surprised he wants to get married again so soon.

There is just to much marriage crap going around for my finger thank you and I have already told him I am never getting married again and of course he acts like the conversation was just “off the cuff”. He has been leaning on me to let him come to the states and I think I am going to very soon.

I am almost about to let him come next weekend we will have to see how I feel but he has got to realize that marriage is never on the table with me. I don’t want anyone around for that long and I sure do not want to be committed to anyone right now or ever.

I admit it, I do not want to put that much into a relationship or do I want to invest my emotions. It would be nice to have a buddy to hang with and send home to someone else. It’s not like my life is exciting but I don’t like people infringing on my time.

G is totally taken with me and has told me he thinks I am unique, different, unusual, intelligent and on and on, like I need him to tell me how fabulous I am. As long as you don’t ask how terrible I am, we shall get along fine and things will be ducky.

 

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Define Me

 

No Trusts No Truths

“G” called tonight, another three hour marathon that I wasn’t interested in running this evening. He thinks he can come into my life and after a few weeks I am going to share the most painful experience of my life with him? He is always asking about Bob and I do not like that, not one bit.

I have bowed gracefully out of the conversations and he has already accused me of not letting him in, of course I am not letting him in, hell I don’t even let the other one know everything but he knows most of it because I trusted him, at one time.

He hurt me very badly and I cannot get past that so easily if ever as he has no idea the pain I live and am trying to recover from. I’m sorry your random ass once every four months phone call doesn’t do a damn thing for me but piss me off.

You call to cover your tracks but it doesn’t work because I know the truth all of it so don’t try to give me a snow job, it’s only September. I am interested in someone else that has time for me and wants to be with me and until you get rid of your mistress of green I do not want you in my life.

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Define Me

 

A Single Teardrop

A single teardrop has a story to tell, a single gasp to smother the cry has a story to tell, the emptiness and loss has it’s own story to tell but when I lost you, that was my story to tell. You came into my life for my protection as your wife, you came into my life for my caring and concern, my worry, my tears.

I will never marry again and when I say never that is exactly what I mean as I cannot allow anymore pain to wash my life leaving it’s streaks along the way. I am not capable of letting anyone close to me any longer and I do not want anyone close either.

I am a walking target, a poster child for what marriage should never be reduced to, even the word makes me want to puke. Love doesn’t come with a paper guarantee and neither does, truth, honesty and integrity and I have found love can be a bitter pill, a very bitter pill at least for me.

When I think of my husband’s death I think of what I do not want in life and I will never settle for less again, I do not have to and those that think they can reduce me to play their game then they have confused me with Milton Bradley.

I feel so much more then most and I feel it so much deeper and yes I can be a beautiful emotional mess at times but that is just the way it is. This past weekend has done nothing but bring up reminders of painful events that should be left in the corner but they do not wish to stay there.

You want your wealth, fancy clothes, homes, cars, planes and fame? Take it and shove it because when it matters, when things really matter you will have your material possessions to save you from the wreckage? Will that new pair of jeans wear on you well? Take a damn good look into the mirror and you will see, if you are capable of looking past your own image that life is finite and that includes yours.

 

 

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Define Me

 
 
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